I wonder what makes it interesting to write in your own life and exposing it afterwards to the entire world. What would one think that other persons would be interested in him and his everyday lives? What could the thoughts of one person do in the pool of almost 7 billion people running around in the planet?
My birth name is Maris Angelica. But nobody calls me that. Almost everyone that I know calls me Maica—just remove the ris from Maris and angel from Angelica and combine them together and tah-dah. I first blog when I was 12. Then I stopped when I reached college and I decided to write again when I was about third year college. Then I stopped again when I was about to enter law school. Then now, while I am about to enter my third year in law, I decided to blog again. Now that I think about it, I wonder why such a pattern was made.
The first step in a new chapter in life is always the hardest one. You want to give your all. You want to show everyone that you are that worth it to be in your position. That you are worth it. But a year after that, you will find yourself wrong. In the next year, you sink even deeper. That’s the part when you would feel the staggering loneliness. Then you would find yourself in isolation. Or at least partly in isolation. You communicate with old friends through social media but barely do anything to meet up with them. You feel like they are too busy. You do not want to disturb them anymore. You cry alone. You eat alone. You pray alone. You feign happiness alone. You say to others that your okay but later you have that inkling to go to the confession box because you had lied then again.
And then you want to write again.
You write because you are human. Sometimes, the form does not count. Sometimes, grammatical errors are nothing. You write because you are overflowing with happiness, fuming with anger or weeping of sadness. But then you didn’t realize that somehow, something had changed in you. Now that I’m in law school, I realized recently that the most effective way for me to learn and memorize countless laws and jurisprudence is by means of outlining them first on a piece of paper. That’s the only way for me to read, comprehend every concept, every article and every idea communicated by law to me. By writing, everything makes sense in your very eyes. And by making sense, you start learning—and that is what life is all about.
By writing too and publishing your thoughts, maybe someone, somewhere in the broad world wide web, someone is experiencing the same pain as you do. Perhaps, she’s a thirteen-year-old girl from America or Switzerland or Namibia, experiencing the agony of first love and reading your life’s lessons somewhere in the web made them feel better and understand things. Maybe now, your ideas seem absurd, crazy or inappropriate but still you just wrote them down in your blog. Maybe nobody would read them today, or tomorrow or even after two years. But someday, who knows what great ideas may be derived of you. Leonardo da Vinci wrote the queerest of things, drew and conceptualized everything in his notebooks that has never been published but see now…besides his paintings, those ideas that are written in his notebooks made him a legend.
But then again, very few people become a legend. So write just because you are alive, write because you are special and write because you want to.
Now why do I write? I write to see the light. 🙂