I find it noteworthy how seemingly quiet Father’s Day is compared to Mother’s Day. It has always been that way and probably it will forever be that way. But why and how come?
One of the biggest blessings of my life is having both my parents in my life. We live on the same roof and we worked together as family with my sister and brother. It is cool having a family you can turn to always because no matter how broken you are in your professional life; they are always there to support you no matter what. When I was a child, I take my family for granted but when I grew up, I realized that having a complete family is harder than it seems. More often than not, the family crumbles when the so-called “haligi ng tahanan” collapses.
As I see it, there are more and more men who are having children but are not worthy enough being called their father. It’s a sad and bitter truth. After a hot, steamy night filled with romance and lust, a woman who is with her child from its conception is most likely to stick with her child forever. But it’s different when it comes to men. They could easily run and go on with their lives. They may deny the child which is the most hurtful to a child. Ludicrously, there are a lot of single mothers today were greeted with “Happy Father’s Day” for singlehandedly raising their children out of wedlock. It’s as if today was the extension of Mother’s Day.
Or sometimes, even if a man and a woman are married, separation may happen after the birth of a child. For a woman, her child matters most in this world. From the moment that she gives birth to her child, her world revolves around it. A man, who is used with all attention given to him by his wife, may feel jealously over the child. Also, I know very few fathers who are willing to change diapers of their child or change their body clock according to the cries of their child. The sexual needs were also not given much to him anymore by the very tired wife who has both professional and household work in her hands. In other countries that have divorce, this is unfortunately, one of the grounds of “irreconcilable differences”. Men cannot work on their roles as a father to his child.
But there are times when men got passed through infant rearing but still developed problematic behavior in the family. The man who is macho, tough and all is always expected to work for the pecuniary needs of the family. However, a child needs more and more things for himself as he grows up. When he was an infant, he mainly needs milk formula and diapers and shortly, he must eat at least three full meals a day. Then, he started going to preschool then grade school, high school and college. Tuition fees increases tremendously through the years, especially if we are talking about tertiary education. A good father must provide all these things plus payment for bills, gas, clothing, medical expenses and books.
However, once he could not, trouble begins. Men has a hard time on admitting their wrongs and shortcomings so they either work extra longer and harder which in effect, they have no time for family anymore. And remember, since men generally live for a shorter period of time compared to women, some even die overworked. Some resort to vices to forget their shortcomings (which are not necessary pecuniary in nature) like beer, cigarettes and worst of all, other women (and viola—the creation of family number two, three, and so on and so forth). Some even blame their family for their misfortune and hence, domestic violence begins to some family. That’s why, it’s no wonder the world celebrates less of Father’s Day.
I think the men of this world must learn a bit from my father, Atty. Angelo G. Ayuyao. He grew up without a father because my grandfather, who was then a mayor of our little town in Pampanga, was taken by the militants when Daddy was three and there was nothing heard of him ever since. Of course, he is not a perfect father like he could be irritable at times especially now that he is more than sixty years old. But it’s still a wonder why he such a wonderful and topnotch father. But it would all boils down to character and maturity and his SELFLESSNESS as a man. We are not spoiled, he refuses to give what we wants but he always provides what we really need. He always thinks of our needs before his own. For example, everyone loves promotion but my Daddy refuses it. People may find it strange because promotion means money, right? Daddy agrees with that but he believes that there are things that money cannot buy like health and family time. He assures that he gives time for us. Even if he is sleepy, when I want to talk to him, he gets up and talks to me. When we fell sick and must be hospitalized for days, he uses his leave and he is at our side until we got discharged from the hospital. When he promises to wait for you, he will even if it takes you an extra hour or so to finish your tasks. He forgives easily, too.
It is also rare seeing Daddy buy things for himself. Most of his clothes were gifts. Also, if he is buying personal properties, it’s usually on sale. A 50% discount or more draws the biggest smile on his face. But when it’s for other persons, he is the most gallant. He taught me to treat my friends whenever I can like he does. I think his character when it comes to money was derived from his ethnical backgrounds. While both my paternal grandparents are both Spanish-Chinese mestizos, my grandfather was a Kapampangan and my grandmother was an Ilocana. But whatever the reason is, he is loved by many. He has a gift of making people very loyal to him. I never heard anyone really say negative things about my Daddy except he is bad in math and he has problem with directions at times which I unfortunately, inherited both.
However, I’ll forever be proud being his daughter. Definitely, one of the reasons that I want to be a lawyer is him and his belief and mission that in our little ways, we must deliver justice to everyone. I love you, Daddy! I’m always thankful for having you as a Dad so everyday is Happy Father’s Day for us. The world would really become a better place if there are more men like you.