I have a lot of mistakes in my life. I am guilty that there are a lot of instances which I could have used my time more productively. But I have no regrets. Well, except one.
If I could go back to my yesteryears, I would have joined Little Miss Philippines.
I am dead serious.
Well, when I was a child, I’m pretty much the same girl now except I was more energetic then. Everybody loved me. And who wouldn’t? It’s actually rare to see a child who has so much energy and spirit within her. I am basically a shameless kid. I would talk a lot, tell incomprehensible stores and inquire lots of nonsense in the world. I also dance and sing—both poorly but everything a toddler or a pre-schooler does is cute anyway. And because of my enthusiastic disposition, some people actually suggested to my parents that it’s a good idea for me to join the infamous Eat Bulaga segment.
You know, I may never admit it to a person face-to-face but I secretly love attention and the spotlight. My parents were just asking me, “Do you want to join Little Miss Philippines?” and I would not give a direct answer, although sometimes I shall give a sheepish smile.
But that’s that. They never let me join.
Little did I know that I blew my chance completely on becoming a beauty queen…ummm…princess.
Shortly in middle school, I saw myself as a very ugly girl. Media dictated the young, innocent minds of my classmates and I on what beauty is all about. I am overweight, have a cushion-like nose, crooked teeth and I wear very thick glasses. My parents also did not want to let my hair grow with reasons that only made sense between them. I actually have pictures wherein people mistake me for a boy.
I hated myself. I can’t bear looking at myself in the mirror and I hardly have any pictures from middle school to high school.
Now, almost seven years after I graduated high school, I look pretty much the same except for my hair which I could grow as long as I want and my teeth were somehow straightened by the use of braces for two years. I am also wearing contact lenses when I go out. Nonetheless, there is still no way I could join a pageant. The measurement of beauty is somehow the same, still. The society looks up with fair, thin ladies with shaped noses and silky straight hair. If you ask me, the only category I fall squarely in is my fair complexion and nothing else.
Is that what beauty is all about?
Somehow, I want to go back to the days where beauty hardly matter. In pre-school, it did not really matter what your classmate looks like or how he dress like but whether or not that classmate of yours would like to play and befriend you. Character also matters. As children, we see the beauty of the soul better rather than the superficial attractiveness of a person that is temporary.
Perhaps, in this lifetime, I shall never have the opportunity to become a beauty queen until there is a criteria for beauty. That’s why I regret not being able to join Little Miss Philippines where your chubbiness is even an asset because in the eyes of the audience, you are extra cute.
In my next life, I shall DEFINITELY become the Little Miss Philippines.