Monthly Archives: March 2012

In my Next Life, I Shall Be Little Miss Philippines

I have a lot of mistakes in my life. I am guilty that there are a lot of instances which I could have used my time more productively. But I have no regrets. Well, except one.

If I could go back to my yesteryears, I would have joined Little Miss Philippines.

I am dead serious.

Well, when I was a child, I’m pretty much the same girl now except I was more energetic then. Everybody loved me. And who wouldn’t? It’s actually rare to see a child who has so much energy and spirit within her. I am basically a shameless kid. I would talk a lot, tell incomprehensible stores and inquire lots of nonsense in the world. I also dance and sing—both poorly but everything a toddler or a pre-schooler does is cute anyway. And because of my enthusiastic disposition, some people actually suggested to my parents that it’s a good idea for me to join the infamous Eat Bulaga segment.

You know, I may never admit it to a person face-to-face but I secretly love attention and the spotlight. My parents were just asking me, “Do you want to join Little Miss Philippines?” and I would not give a direct answer, although sometimes I shall give a sheepish smile.

But that’s that. They never let me join.

Little did I know that I blew my chance completely on becoming a beauty queen…ummm…princess.

Shortly in middle school, I saw myself as a very ugly girl. Media dictated the young, innocent minds of my classmates and I on what beauty is all about. I am overweight, have a cushion-like nose, crooked teeth and I wear very thick glasses. My parents also did not want to let my hair grow with reasons that only made sense between them. I actually have pictures wherein people mistake me for a boy.

I hated myself. I can’t bear looking at myself in the mirror and I hardly have any pictures from middle school to high school.

Now, almost seven years after I graduated high school, I look pretty much the same except for my hair which I could grow as long as I want and my teeth were somehow straightened by the use of braces for two years. I am also wearing contact lenses when I go out. Nonetheless, there is still no way I could join a pageant. The measurement of beauty is somehow the same, still. The society looks up with fair, thin ladies with shaped noses and silky straight hair. If you ask me, the only category I fall squarely in is my fair complexion and nothing else.

Is that what beauty is all about?

Somehow, I want to go back to the days where beauty hardly matter. In pre-school, it did not really matter what your classmate looks like or how he dress like but whether or not that classmate of yours would like to play and befriend you.  Character also matters. As children, we see the beauty of the soul better rather than the superficial attractiveness of a person that is temporary.

Perhaps, in this lifetime, I shall never have the opportunity to become a beauty queen until there is a criteria for beauty. That’s why I regret not being able to join Little Miss Philippines where your chubbiness is even an asset because in the eyes of the audience, you are extra cute.

In my next life, I shall DEFINITELY become the Little Miss Philippines.

“If we could destroy custom at a blow and see the stars as a child sees them, we should need no other apocalypse.”
—G.K. Chesterton

Eleven Hints for Life

This is the “Eleven Hints for Life”. It’s my first time to post something that was not written by me, but I believe that we shall all learn something from this. Maybe when I become a better and more mature person, I shall be able to write my own version of this. But maybe I’ll limit it to eight. In enumerations, I usually could remember ten items because each item is represented by my fingers. Nonetheless, I decided to limit it to eight because eight is my favorite number and turn it 90 degrees, you would get the infinity sign. I believe that what we really learn about in life is what makes us eternal, infinite.

We only have one shot in life. We must make the most out of this. Anyway, if you ask me on what is my favorite among the lessons below, I have to say that I agree with the eleventh. I want to make my loved ones happy that if I die, they will cry both happy and sad tears. I want them to reminisce my weird humor,  happy disposition in life and my playful nature. I want them to miss me because I’ve made them truly happy in a way that no one else can. The legacy that I want to leave in this world is definitely, love.

The author is unfortunately, unknown. Nevertheless, I thank you, whoever you are, for giving me that spark of inspiration to live more in my life.

 

  1. It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return. But what is more painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let that person know how you feel.
  2. A sad thing in life is when you meet someone who means a lot to you, only to find out in the end that it was never meant to be and you just have to let go.
  3. The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you’ve ever had.
  4. It’s true that we don’t know what we’ve got until we lose it, but it’s also true that we don’t know what we’ve been missing until it arrives.
  5. It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone-but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.
  6. Don’t go for looks, they can deceive. Don’t go for wealth, even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright.
  7. Dream what you want to dream, go where you want to go, be what you want to be. Because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do.
  8. Always put yourself in the other’s shoes. If you feel that it hurts you, it probably hurts the person too.
  9. A careless word may kindle strife. A cruel word may wreck a life. A timely word may level stress. But a loving word may heal and bless.
  10. The happiest of people don’t necessarily have the best of everything they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.
  11. Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, ends with a tear. When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so that when you die, you’re the one smiling and everyone around you is crying.

The Unannounced Letter

Dearest You,

Hey. It’s been a while since I last saw you. How are you? It’s actually not a long time as we saw each other early this March but for me it already feels like a long year. One day, three autumns—that’s what a Chinese proverb says. It means that when you truly miss someone, a day without him feels like three years. Well, of course, that’s an exaggeration but it still feels like a very long time.

Then again, do you miss me?

It pains me being last on your list when you’re my first thought I have in the morning and you’re my prayer at night. I hate this feeling. I could just easily move on and obsessed in another guy. I’m sure there are still some single guys who are taller than you or perhaps more athletic or better looking.

Nonetheless, they are not you. In my heart and mind, no one can defy you. You are my both my strength and my weakness. The person who pushes me forward whenever I want to give up yet you are also the person I worry more than myself. You are the one who fill me up with joy yet you also unwittingly create a hole in my heart whenever I do not get a message from you in a day.

But still you do not know about it.

You know, I like you so much that even your kindness hurt me sometimes.

I’m tired of hiding and suppressing my feelings inside. My friend, if it is not meant  to be, it shall not be. But somehow, that’s the fact that I fully understand yet still cannot bear.  It’s really hard finding a friend like you—dependable, honest and true—that it is hard to tell you the truth because I fear that you might not want to be a friend of mine anymore. It’s like a curse because you are protecting something precious that hurts you as well.

If one day, I finally told you my feelings and afterwards, you get to read this letter. Please remember that wherever I may be, you would always have a place in my heart. You shall be a part of every smile I bring to this world. You shall always be my favorite dream. Always remember that you are a very wonderful and compassionate person who is worth loving.

Whatever happens to our relationship as individuals, I’ll always thank God that I He made me fall in love deeply and purely with a person beyond amazing like you.

Love,

Me