The Unannounced Letter

Dearest You,

Hey. It’s been a while since I last saw you. How are you? It’s actually not a long time as we saw each other early this March but for me it already feels like a long year. One day, three autumns—that’s what a Chinese proverb says. It means that when you truly miss someone, a day without him feels like three years. Well, of course, that’s an exaggeration but it still feels like a very long time.

Then again, do you miss me?

It pains me being last on your list when you’re my first thought I have in the morning and you’re my prayer at night. I hate this feeling. I could just easily move on and obsessed in another guy. I’m sure there are still some single guys who are taller than you or perhaps more athletic or better looking.

Nonetheless, they are not you. In my heart and mind, no one can defy you. You are my both my strength and my weakness. The person who pushes me forward whenever I want to give up yet you are also the person I worry more than myself. You are the one who fill me up with joy yet you also unwittingly create a hole in my heart whenever I do not get a message from you in a day.

But still you do not know about it.

You know, I like you so much that even your kindness hurt me sometimes.

I’m tired of hiding and suppressing my feelings inside. My friend, if it is not meant  to be, it shall not be. But somehow, that’s the fact that I fully understand yet still cannot bear.  It’s really hard finding a friend like you—dependable, honest and true—that it is hard to tell you the truth because I fear that you might not want to be a friend of mine anymore. It’s like a curse because you are protecting something precious that hurts you as well.

If one day, I finally told you my feelings and afterwards, you get to read this letter. Please remember that wherever I may be, you would always have a place in my heart. You shall be a part of every smile I bring to this world. You shall always be my favorite dream. Always remember that you are a very wonderful and compassionate person who is worth loving.

Whatever happens to our relationship as individuals, I’ll always thank God that I He made me fall in love deeply and purely with a person beyond amazing like you.

Love,

Me

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