A Touch of the Color of Happiness

I don’t understand how a woman can leave the house without fixing herself up a little – if only out of politeness.

—Coco Chanel.

I think that deep inside every woman, no matter how tough or manly her occupation is or no matter how tomboyish or brawny society looks at her and no matter how plain Jane she appears in public, she just wants to feel one thing. She just wants to feel beautiful.

It’s really strange that nowadays, I am often with makeup. A few years back that would be unimaginable. When I was a child, makeup intimidated me. My aunties in Pampanga often told me that you don’t need to put makeup because only the malalandi or flirtatious girls are the only one who needs it. All you need to do is keep your face clean and eat vegetables. I believed them for a long time. By the time I was thirteen years old, I was a high school freshman. Some of my classmates began using powder pacts, cheek tints and lip gloss. I looked down on them. I can’t believe that at a very young age, they are beginning to be flirtatious when some of them still forgets the multiplication tables at times. I resented everyone who wore makeup in school. In my mind, my aunties are correct. Your physical attributes does not really matter anyway. You just need to be a smart girl. You must be a kind girl to everyone. What is inside is all that counts. Dabbing everything to your face makes you superficial and fake.

That’s why my proms are disasters. I don’t know what to wear. I don’t know how to keep my makeup on. I do not know how to act like a lady. I was awkward, very awkward. Worst, during my junior year, I was wearing my very think eyeglasses up to our prom because I was afraid to try contact lens then. In many ways, I think I’m a deviant in my school proms.

But before I graduated high school, I decided to ask my mother if she could buy me my very first pressed powder which she agreed. You see, I’m very pimply in my youth. Unfortunately, at age twenty-four, I still experience some skin breakouts. That explains a lot why I still have a lot of pimple scars on my face.

Zit. A particularly big one. It still leaves a remnant scar on my face.
Zit. This is a particularly a bad one. The big scar of it still remains on my cheek.

Anyway, things changed a little with beauty and I when I reached college. My choice of clothing was better though. I refused wearing very loose clothes that I was wearing in high school in non-school days. I loved hairbands and earrings, too. My haircut is layered for the first time. But it’s different when it comes to makeup. I only wear pressed powder and sometimes because of lengthy and difficult paperwork, I forget putting them on. I tried wearing something for my lips but it I didn’t like the reaction of my block mates. Don’t get me wrong, I love my Economics classmates to death but probably they gave me weird reactions because of over familiarity? They weren’t used in seeing me like that. Then again, probably I misunderstood their reactions because I’m too self-conscious?

In law school, nothing changed in the beginning. After all, I was still wearing uniform in UST Law School. But eventually, I got so pressured with law school that I forget so many things even keeping myself tidy. I look harassed every day and I was gaining so much weight. Eventually, you all know what happened next and I went to UE College of Law. I went there looking so much like a slob. There are no prescribed uniform in UE except that as much as possible; one must go to school in semi-formal attire. That was my first problem, I barely have clothes and eventually I began raiding my mother’s closet. My parents are helpful though. They started buying me appropriate top pieces. The black slacks I wore were all from my old UST uniform so there is no problems with the bottom part. Soon, I was getting sick of wearing black slacks so I began wearing black skirts. It was uncomfortable at first but I realized that I keep changing classmates all the time in UE so I decided not to care anymore if someone would look down on me or laugh at me with what I am wearing because there is a big chance that I’d only see that person once or twice a week for just a few hours.  Once, my mother is buying lipstick from Maybelline. I showed her my interest; she bought me two with a simple blush. My Chinese best friend also gave me a lipstick from the same brand with lip gloss for Christmas. I suddenly felt like an adult. I started putting on some makeup to school though with great caution with the blush. The fuchsia shade that she bought for me is too dark and loud to my pale, sallow skin. Also, last Christmas, with some cash I earned, I absentmindedly entered into a Korean beauty shop, Etude House in SM Fairview. Not knowing what exactly to buy, I bought a makeup base because I thought that it was the foundation I need to even out my skin. I also bought a blusher with a highlighter in it which I’m puzzled on using. But both products turned out great. Surprisingly, my parents bought me a foundation from Paul and Joe as Christmas gift.

The Basic. How I usually dress up for school before.

Yet something is still missing.

For the longest time, I always believe that I’m not beautiful. This is especially true when I was in high school. If someday, I’ll be a very prominent person and there are clamors to have my autobiography written, my biographer will have a really hard time in finding pictures in my high school days. That is mainly because I look at myself as a very ugly girl. I dressed ugly, I wear very thick glasses, I am chubby, I have a lot of acne and my parents refused to grow my hair long before I reached college. There are days when my haircut is shorter than my boy classmates! Some people actually mistook me for a boy.

Then, one day I woke up thinking out of the blue that I want to use makeup as in I really, really want to use makeup. The next weeks, I saw myself scrimping so much on my expenses and kept on returning to Etude House. Suddenly, nothing fits with my makeup kit that I bought another one. I also read a lot of review blogs on makeup products and watched a lot of makeup tutorials in Youtube. Presently, I have a makeup base, a foundation, a BB Cream, two powder pacts, five pots of eye shadow, three lipsticks, two lip glosses, two matte blushers, an eyebrow color, an eye cream liner and a mascara plus some other accessory products and skin care products mostly from Etude House. I guess I now have the basics of a makeup kit though in the next weeks to come, I’m still scrimping on my expenses to ensure that all beauty products I use are Etude House. I have this weird inclination with a brand that I think works for me. My shampoo, conditioner, soap and deodorant are all products by Dove. I want to try other products like brown eyeliner pencil and cream blushers.

It’s exhausting sometimes especially that I can’t eat the food that I like particularly Korean foods. For some reason, the University Belt this year has so many Korean restaurants which sprung like mushrooms. Nonetheless, Korean foods took the hearts of many of students like me. The sassy spiciness of their food ended with their sweet and unique ice creams were addicting. So yeah, I went from a Korean drama addict, to a Korean foodie and now to a Korean makeup geek. I so hate Korea for making me spend too much on their merchandise for years now! Just kidding, of course I love Korea.

(By the way, if you guys are starting makeup these days, I highly recommend that you choose a Korean or Japanese brand. I just love the East-Asian philosophy on makeup. They do not just do makeup that are flattering to a woman’s skin and are long lasting but they also put into consideration the long-time effect on it into the skin. That’s why their makeups, especially their powder pacts and BB Creams, have sunscreen included to prevent both UVA and UVB rays penetrating to our skin which hastens aging. BB Creams are amazing because aside from acting like a moisturizer and foundation with good concealing properties but it also possess healing properties that soften, smoothen and refine skin. It encourages skin regeneration to create and maintain youthful skin and has anti-wrinkle and skin lightening benefits. Yes, it is the beauty secret of the ‘perfect’ Korean celebrities. Lastly, East-Asian brands are hypoallergenic and does not have that weird cosmetic scents like Eastern brands and are pareben-free. For now, BB Cream worked for me as it evens out my skin tone and my pimple scars are now fading slowly but surely.)

Anyway, by wearing makeup, my perspective changed. It revived the creativity in me that died when I went to college. You see, I’m not a really smart girl in high school especially with anything that has to do with numbers but I get high marks in drawing and crafts, well, besides languages. Also, by looking more prepped up people seems to respect you more. I feel that slowly, people are now recognizing me as a woman and not that clumsy girl that they always knew. You also get compliments saying how beautiful you look today or how you seem to bloom by the day. It also highlights your best feature. I always thought that I have ugly lips because it looks plain to me but when I started applying lipsticks in a daily basis, I get compliments that any lipstick shade I use looks good on me because I have nicely shaped lips. Slowly, you realized that all these time you were made beautiful in your own way. Now I do not see why not a woman must not put a little makeup. I mean we polish our shoes and we decorate our homes so I see no reason why we shouldn’t fix ourselves every day before we head out. Most especially if we’re going to show our clean, polished and confident selves to the world.

Of course, I do not forget that the real beauty comes within. These days, I am not just beautifying my face but also my soul. I try to read the Bible a little more and read articles in the World Wide Web on Christianity, kindness, love, inspiration and passion. As much as possible, I try to apply that to my everyday life being a good daughter, sister, friend, student and colleague. Thus, by being good and pleasant to others, that is what really makes me bloom more than my exteriors. No matter how much concealer you put into your face, it cannot hide an ugly soul. Hence, before you move on to your exteriors, make sure you had worked on or is working on into your exteriors.

I understand that not all women would want to wear makeup but the bottom line of this article is this: if you want to do something for yourself, do it right away if you think it will make you happy. Do not be fearful on what will people say or comment on you. People will always have an opinion on you whatever happens anyway. This quote that I read from tumblr best explains it:

You eat, you’re fat. You don’t eat, you’re a freak. You read, you’re a nerd. You don’t read, you’re stupid. You tell a secret, you’re an attention seeker. You don’t tell a secret, you’re still attention seeking. You let someone in, you’re easy. You don’t let someone in, you’re too uptight. You’ve had sex, you’re a slut. You haven’t had sex, you’re a frigid little bitch. You wear makeup, you’re a slag. You don’t wear makeup, you’re ugly. You can’t please anyone. Ever.

A Touch of Color. This is how I usually dress up now before I go to school minus the brow color because it really takes up time.

Life is short. As long as you will not hurt another person, who cares what others think. Always go for happiness. 

 

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2 thoughts on “A Touch of the Color of Happiness

    1. As usual, i thank you so much, Ate Layla. Your kind words always inspires me. I actually know this song, I sang this when I was younger but I didn’t know that it’s from the musical “Flower Drum Song”. Yes, let us enjoy our youth and enjoy our femininity! ^___^

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