Tag Archives: truth

Partial Truths

 “For we know in part, and we prophesy in part;  but when that which is complete has come, then that which is partial will be done away with.

—1 Corinthians 13:9-10

One of the funniest yet worst feelings is when you go on-line to relax yourself but ‘lo and behold, you were instead stressed of all the envy you felt after seeing the images of friends in Facebook, Twitter or Instagram.

It is easy to feel sorry about yourself after seeing how well your friends are doing once you login to your social network accounts. While you find that nothing remotely interesting is happening in your life for months or perhaps years, you see your friends marrying the love of their lives, eating in the most expensive restaurants, watching the latest Iron Man film in IMAX 3D theatre, attending the launch of the Samsung Galaxy Note 4 and obtaining the same afterwards and going places like the beaches because it’s summertime in the Philippines or even Paris. Believe it or not, all these events appeared in my social networks in a span of a week.

And what am I doing? Let us just say, our house helper just arrived from her two-week vacation yesterday. Guess who took over almost all her job?

When I saw all of these things on-line a year ago, I probably feel sorry about myself again for having a very “boring” life. But I came to mature and realize one of the most basic natures of every human being: We are more interested in making others believe we are happy than in trying to be happy ourselves. First of all, it is no secret how many people, especially girls, who Photoshop their images before posting it as their profile pictures in the social networking sites. I saw some of my Facebook friends who are so blemish-free in their profile pictures that they hardly resemble such pictures in real life. I never altered my pictures but I am guilty in a way that there are times where I take about ten shots just to have that perfect profile picture. Sometimes, I even go beyond ten. This is a fact that I can never be proud of myself. The point is, if we choose carefully or even alter our profile pictures, most certainly we do the same of our posts in our social networking sites.

Simply put, the Internet is an avenue of partial truths. We get to decide what people see and what they don’t. Yes, one may seem very blissful of marrying the love of her life but what we don’t know is deep inside she only married the man because she was impregnated by him and she is currently unemployed and has no means to support her baby. Yes, a person may be seen eating with friends in an expensive restaurant but we do not know how he starved for several weeks just to meet with his friends’ expectations that he could actually afford such place. Yes, one may have watched the latest movie in IMAX, but she only did so in order to escape her abusive father temporarily who beats her up and her mother whenever he gets drunk. Yes, one may appear to buy all the latest gadgets and thingamajigs but would one be crazy enough to post his credit card statement of account which he only pays the interests for years?

The infamous Greek philosopher, Plato, once said, “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” We all have our own crosses that we bear and do not burden ourselves further with envy with the partialities our friends posts in the Internet. Also, we must ask ourselves if we do really know these people that we really follow or observe. Personally, I have more than 800 friends in Facebook and I could say that I really know and care only about 50 persons there. The rest are high school batch mates (almost all are my friends and we are almost 400 students in our batch), friends from gym (I lasted only for four months and I do not really contact anyone from them), distant relatives who added me (my surname “Ayuyao” is a very rare surname), old classmates and friends from college and my first law school (majority of them I do not talk to anymore), some are my old teachers or professors (who I admire and I just added so that I could still get some bits and pieces of their wisdom whenever I feel lost), some friends of friends who I met only once in my life, and some people in my current school now (we added to have groups to share files, make announcements and ask for help in some matters). There is no point comparing ourselves with these people. Reality bites that even your closest friends before move on, have a life of their own and live a life separate from yours. There is a point when you do not really know them anymore except of the life they tried projecting to everyone by their posts in the Internet. And since we hardly know them anymore, what is the point of comparing our lives with strangers?

Sure, we cannot say adios anymore to the Internet at present. For many of us, the Internet became not just a luxury but a necessity. The Internet inspires, teaches and connects us. But do not use it to compare your life to another person. Instead of comparing, start living your own life.  Life has a fair share of surprises for all of us. The only way to do find it is by logging out of your computers every once in a while.

ddd
Unplug. Take a break from all the social networking dramas. Start running and living your life.
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The Entire Truth

I’m so sorry for not writing as much as I’m supposed to.

I want to say I’m busy. That’s true, but that’s not entirely true. It’s true that I have summer classes, but I have three weeks off last April. But, besides writing that previous article on how I took pleasure in mocking the North Koreans, I could not write anymore. But that is not entirely true. I did tried writing with quite a number of times but I could not finish it. I can’t finish just one freaking article. Now, that’s true but I have no explanation why.

I want to rant now on how frustrated I am on not having a single vacation this summer season, nevertheless, I’m just too tired now. My summer class will end Saturday of next week and my regular semester will begin on the fourth of June. I just feel so tired. I want to say that I’m tired this summer studying three law subjects namely Special Proceedings, Special Penal Laws and Legal and Judicial Forms but again, that statement is just partly true. True, that my Special Proceedings class is such a pain in the neck as my professor assign at least twenty-five cases per meeting, there are some cases in Special Penal Laws and Legal and Judicial Forms have these occasional very long home works.  However, it is also true that I go to class without reading anything. Good grief, I’m so blessed with luck in Special Proceedings. Never mind the two other classes for they are pressure-less. But Special Proceedings is a different case. However, whenever I did not read a thing, I’m not called at all. I’m never close to being called. See, I cannot rant at all.

I want to say I’m happy now, but again, it is not entirely true. True, I conquered my fear by finally telling him how I really feel about him. It’s something that I really want to do for more than a year now. I just thought that maybe the feeling is just like the feeling I had after finally convincing myself on riding that infamous Space Shuttle ride in Enchanted Kingdom. In my mind at the long queue of people in the line of Space Shuttle, “It would be nothing. It’s finished in fifty-six seconds.” Yes, confessing your feelings did take just about fifty-six seconds but it’s a little different after riding the Space Shuttle. In Space Shuttle, there is no “yes or no” for there is only go. In confessing your feelings, you await that answer. Will he reject you or will he say that he feels the same? Will he thank you and say that he loves another or will he just look at you in silence? The man I love, being a twisted and complicated yet still loved by me creature that he is, gave an answer I practically did not expect at all in my more than a year of thinking on how he would react. He answered that it’s like a yes but with something ridiculous that makes it kind of no but definitely he did not answer it with a maybe. God, why did you let me fall in love with a confusing man? But God, I want you to know that I still love him. God, I want to see him but probably we’re both not yet ready to face each other again. In Korean dramas, this is the point wherein the main girl and boy will not see each other for two years so that they could focus on their career and think if they are really meant for each other. I do not know what the hell is with two years but believe me, it has been three weeks but it feels painful. Can I really wait for two years so that I could see him again? By that time, I’m midway on my review for bar exams! But wait…what am I talking about? We are not Koreans in the first place! Anyway, that single moment of courage is the best birthday gift I had given myself. I ended the last couple of weeks of my life as twenty-three years old finally free. Even if I miss him, I cry considerably less now at night compared to when I was pondering on whether I’ll tell him or not. I sleep longer and more soundly now. In fact, ever since I told him my feelings, I never remembered a single dream that I have at night which is probably a good thing. I’ve read that there is a psychological finding that you are most likely to remember your dream when you are depressed. Perhaps, I’m no longer depressed? And yes, thank you so much for very supportive friends. Now, don’t get me started with them. That is why, I want to say I am unhappy but that is not entirely true. A part of me is truly happy.

So now I want to say that I want to restart my life. That is true yet impossible. They said that when you are nearing the end, that’s the part where you are most likely to give up. I might seem losing passion with law studies at this point but it is like a crime to give up now. But what I can do is to reorganize. I need to throw what is no longer essential, keep what is needed and also set aside things which I must do but is still impossible now at this time.  I also need to settle the unholy trinity—my brain, my heart and my soul. They are not in synch in almost every single way. So yes, I’m restarting my life in a way that I was when I was studying law—someone filled with hopes, dreams and passion. That’s how I started things so that’s how it will end. So I feel like I’m restarting my life but in fact I’m just restoring myself on how I should really be.

Yes, I should write more. That’s how it supposed to and that’s how it shall be. 🙂

 

Strawberry Wishes. If I could recall things correctly, the last time I had cake on my birthday was back in grade school. It’s amazing that I received FOUR cakes on my 24th birthday and I get to blow two of them—both strawberry flavored. It may be a sign of good things to come. Happy Birthday to me. 🙂

Before I forgot, I thank my sister Lea, for creating a blog entry about me and our relationship as sisters as a birthday gift (besides that Strawberry Cake above). Thank you, my dearest sister! I love you a lot. 🙂