Tag Archives: valentine’s day

Heart to Heart: My Open Letter to the Single People this Valentine’s Day

LOVE. A simple, one-syllable and four-letter word had a multitude of meanings for all of us. It seems like a word of abstractions yet we could all attest how real and how solid it feels to all of us. We also have many stories about love. There are stories that have some with passion and happy endings. There are stories about getting back together. There are stories with bitterness and pain. There are stories who mistook it for obsession or complete submission.

And then here comes Valentine’s Day.

What actually dreaded me is that after Chinese New Year, single people started posting on how sad and sappy they will be on Valentine’s Day. Others curse that day. Others are just overemphasizing that Valentine’s Day will just be an ordinary date in their calendar. In short, bitterness overloads.

Photo credits from: http://rubyanjel.tumblr.com
Looks familiar?

For the love of God, just stop this.

I understand where the bitterness is coming from. Again you will go on thinking what the hell is wrong with you being so alone amidst the couples whispering sweet nothings, the bouquets and the red hearts on the street. There are questions on whether you are unattractive or not. You would also have that hatred in your past love or how show-off these happy couples are in social media. But at the end of the day, it all boils down to your poor self-esteem.

English writer, John Lyly, famously said these words, “All is fair in love and war.” True, there are some girls who have countless of admirers because of their beauty and there are also some guys which the girls dream about because of how handsome they are. However, that is not love. Probably, it is some sort of sexual appeal or lust. The best love stories do not origin from the most attractive persons. In fact, there are a lot of stories on divorce or annulment of marriages from our celebrities. If having a beautiful face or an attractive body is what you think the key to an everlasting love, then please do think again. Also, I know of someone who is not attractive at all by at least in my country’s standard. He is dark-skinned and a short man. However, he has a fantastic sense of humor and he seemed to be kind to all. Then we discovered that he have six kids from six different women. I can’t really react after hearing that especially because he is my friend.

Then, what is the key to love? I honestly do not know. If it would all boil down to attitude, I really do not understand why men love bitches and women love jerks. If it would boil down to one’s wealth, why do I hear polygamous relationship among the poor? I really do not know what makes one, well, loveable. All I know is that love is the most powerful force in the world. It transcends age, race, religion and anything else under the sun.

Thus, there is no reason to be bitter. I know that in one point of our lives, love will come, as long as we will be true to ourselves and will leave an open heart for it. But in the meantime, can’t we be happy for the people in love? In this great vast world, having someone who will love you for you is a miracle. It is something worth celebrating. And also, just like you, my single friend, they were also once single people, but look how love changes them.

In the meantime, love yourself first. If you cannot do that, what are the chances that someone else will love you first? Engage in activities. Meet new people. Make yourself a better person every single day. And who knows, maybe by April, you will be some love-struck idiot who can’t wait for next year’s Valentine’s Day.

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When in doubt, Love.

“When you meet the other half of your soul, you will know in a flash why it hasn’t worked out with anyone else until now and be grateful to all those who rejected you and let you go. You will see each one of them was an angel guiding you in the right direction. Take that view point now and be at peace.”

—Jackson Kiddard

Valentines’ Day would be tomorrow. Yes, I am single—I do not need a day to remind me that. In the meantime, I could say I’m used to being single yet uncomfortable about it. Who wouldn’t be when you spent all your life being nobody’s official girl? It’s not that I am complaining about it. I believe that God will provide me a life partner on the right time if I’m really destined to get married. However, frankly, I’m getting tired of waiting at times and Valentine’s Day really pressures me.

Nonetheless, it’s just one day in a year, it will easily pass. For me, it will be an ordinary four hours class day in school. Probably, I’ll wear green or violet but not red. I’m guessing that I’ll have some absent classmates because they have their respective dates. Maybe there would be a lot of paper hearts everywhere, lots of unending love themed love songs on the radio, chocolates, stuffed toys and promises that day. I’m sure that I’ll see happy couples holding hands while walking on the streets with matching shirts. Perhaps, there would be a lot of proposals and mass weddings on the news tomorrow. I’m not expecting anything new tomorrow. I’ve seen twenty-two Valentine’s Day and believe me, I am not expecting it to be different with my twenty-third Valentine’s Day tomorrow.

But still, I hope for that one Valentine’s Day that would make the difference.

I’m never against the celebration of romantic love. It’s probably the strongest feeling that one could feel in a lifetime. It’s something intense, wonderful and crucial feeling where in you place all your hopes and dreams on one person who loves you. Suddenly, all the things on your Bucket list shortened into one wish: to be with that person forever. You want that person to be happy more than anything and in return, that person wishes the same for you. It’s everything a person hopes and dreams about so it is only fair and just to give romantic love a day of celebration. They said that love is the closest thing to magic, but for me love is magic itself. I cannot wait for that day to call the person I love as my own.

However, I am against the over commercialism of romantic love. I do not understand why people need to be setup with random people that day so that they could say that they weren’t alone in Valentine’s Day. I do not understand why some girls who receive flowers flaunt their bouquet for the whole Valentine’s Day like it is a medal from the Nobel Prize or something to have their girl friends jealous. I do not understand some girls who actually feel inferior to girls who carry around flowers and feel very ugly. I know that there were some girls who were so depressed that they bought their own bouquets just to show their friends that they weren’t ‘alone’ on Valentine’s Day. How I want to slap this girls to return to reality but somehow, I could relate to them as loneliness make you really feel dying inside at a rapid rate.

Two rules in life that I forever follow: Always be true to yourself and love yourself first before you can share love to others. I’m the type of person who never really lies. I can be frank, blunt and straightforward with my thoughts and feelings. With that attitude, I gained friends who accepted me for who I am. Nonetheless, I had my realizations a few months that probably the reason why I do not have a boyfriend yet is I failed to truly love myself first. So slowly, I’m picking up my self-confidence which I seriously lack and try improving myself even a little one day at a time. I learned how to put makeup and carry myself around and lessen the awkwardness that I carry within as much as I could. Probably that’s why people told me that I seem to ‘bloom’ these days. Gradually, I now understand how much I love my future spouse will be that I want to be the best that I could be in mind, body and spirit. I want to be the best that I could be so that I could be the woman who shall every day be deserving of his love and the woman who he shall be proudly say that he is indeed lucky to have.

I put patience in love because I still need to be able to complete myself so I could be that perfect compliment for the person destined for me. I wish all girls would be too. We need to love and respect ourselves first to be worthy of a prince charming who would love us back. So on Valentine’s Day, let us still spread the love with the people we meet. Laugh around with friends. Comfort people who had already given up with love. Be grateful for your family and friends who accepts you for who you are.  Be a complete person for him. And one day, the doors of destiny shall open for us. Actually, I often ask married couple on how they ended up together. Some says they were friends for a long time, others instantaneously felt the attraction the moment they see their future spouse. The main point is what will happen shall definitely happen. We must be ready for that day when we meet that person who shall be worth the wait and would absolutely say the same for us.

Oh, and one more thing, for singles do not waste your whole Valentine’s Day looking at your Facebook timeline seeing some of your friends basically brag about their dates or on the other side, complain how lonely they are on Valentine’s Day. Both extremes will not make you feel better so ditch Facebook for three days perhaps.

To the person destined for me, I hope to see you soon…but then you see, I wish you are the person I truly love now. If you weren’t, please come to my life tomorrow? If you are that person I thank God that I love you because you are such a good person. I pray for you every day so in that way I give love to you every single day even if we’re not yet together. I’m crazy I know. But if it isn’t crazy then it isn’t love.

Whether you’re in a relationship or single, have a heartfelt Valentine’s Day!

According to the Bible first thing a person should understand for love is be patient and to do kindness in order for us to have the love that never fails. When in doubt, just continue to love, love and love.